Moving out while staying in.

I know I've been missing in action for the past few weeks... I blame it on work (which there's really I can't do anything about), my rotting tooth (which was officially extracted) and moving out...

...yes, I moved out.

I officially have my own apartment! Yes! My own apartment! However, it's still in my family's compound (I wanted to call it "estate" due to my addiction of renaming things in this blog, but who am I kidding? All of you know me anyway). I know it's not my dream pad in the city nor is it as accessible to everyone as I thought. But give it a chance. It is (because of the cheap rent, free water and amazing ambiance) absolutely worth it.

There is always a right time for everything and I'm constantly amazed (and worried) at how everything is in place. I've been emotionally robbed so many times that I can't help but wonder if this is just a fleeting fancy or the calm before a great big storm.

Hopefully, it isn't.

~

The best thing about moving in is being creative. I absolutely love how my apartment is right now. It's a private nook in our compound and I have the great white walls I always dreamed of. I placed frame photos the other day and fixed my books... I've never been more eager to stay at home.

~

I realized that having my own space in this world is quite fulfilling. Although I still dream about my lavender painted, bunny wall paper, curtains billowing and fluffy pillows, I know that there is some little girl out there happy about my window view or the named bunnies on the wall (if they retained it).

I'm still bitter. Don't get me wrong. I still cry at night about never having that dream wedding luncheon in our garden or that walk to the church I grew up in. I'm still mad at the people who made it worse to bear and I'm still disappointed  at those who constantly remind of it. There's a reason why I can't go to certain places or talk to certain people. There's also a reason why I can't help but cry every time I listen to "There are Places I Remember".

However,

I'm grateful for you. For teaching about the flip side of things. I'm grateful for you, for being there through thick or thin. I'm happy for you and how we are still able to connect despite the geographical distance. At the same time, I'm amazed at those who remain true. I will always be indebted to all of you.

Losing the superficial and realizing those who are true.

That's the best part about this whole thing.

My real friends are the only ones invited to mi casa.

Winking,

Someone Anxious.