Relate-able: Post Secret

They weren't really bullies. But I'd like to think of them as bitches - they were mostly girls that annoyed me because I knew they thought I was smelly and unkempt. They were girls that fed on other people's insecurities and I had a lot.

I'm sure I was a bully too at some point or another. That was school. It was high school.

I'm not planning to go back. I can't. But if I could, I would have tried less to fit in and tried harder to have fun.

Random Thoughts: An Inability to Explain

I think that most people take a lot of things for granted.

Like when someone listens to you.

Even though I like to talk (as most people would think I do but I really don't), I listen more carefully.

I listen to rants. I listen to complains. I listen to instructions...

...I listen to you.

So please, please, please, for one minute don't ever assume that I did not listen to you. Don't make me do something just for the sake of doing something. I am (and consequently, you are) better than that.

Thanks!

Sincerely,

Someone Anxious

Clean.

I know it's been a long time. Between work, Holly's book launch and dreaming of him (which I realized is now stupid because I think he has a girlfriend as was what I saw in last night's book launch), I never really got to writing.

I was never fond of cleaning.

I was never like my sister or my friend K who absolutely loved cleaning things or organizing their rooms. In fact, I was always messy. Many times, I would just dump one thing over another and assume that it will be clean when I use it again.

 I was never clean.

I liked playing in the mud, breaking into sweat and getting my shorts dirty. I liked playing in the streets with the Korean kids in my street (even before the whole Korean mania, they were there).

But I do like baths.

I just took one before I started cleaning my apartment this afternoon. I finally decided to move my bed and get my desk in a more comfortable position. Clothes have been folded and placed back inside the cabinets. Floor's been swept though strands of my hair still cling near the corners. Despite the bath earlier and the various moments where I splashed my face with water, I still find myself unclean. Oh well. At least my room is.

Achievement for today: Getting my Place Clean.

Tomorrow?

Hoping to bump in to you, whoever you may be.

Looking forward,

Someone Anxious.

A Little Random.

Some things are just meant to be random.

I met Holly and her boyfriend after work yesterday and as the three of us enjoyed dinner at our local pizza place, we've come to a conclusion that we might not be eating there again in the near future. Service was so bad and to be honest, we're sick and tired of the food and how management treats us. I used to go there all the time because there was a manager that was nice and would really make sure that we're taken care of. Then boom. For some unknown reason, he's gone and the staff are just too busy to serve a bunch of people who look like kids.

Thus, we randomly ended up in a nearby pub. 

Scotch and tonic for a 100!?!?! Not bad if you ask me. Super love their happy hour. Beer and drinks for half the cost! Service was incredibly good and the servers were friendly. Next time, I'll be skipping dinner and going straight to the bar. 

Earlier the same day, I bumped into an old friend. Well, to be honest, he was more of an old crush. Funny how you are constantly reminded of the people you used to like. He was just outside my office building and here I was, talking to him while nursing a toothache. It was nice to be reminded of the innocence of youth. At the same time, it was nice to be reminded that you are no longer that young. I'm a little bit wiser and I know now. 

I know now.

Someone Anxious. 

Looking back on old love... or lack thereof.

I've been thinking about him and how I feel like I missed my chance. I remember the day that I met him. It was one of the most random meetings and I was too busy thinking about everything that happened that day to even speak properly. John Mayer's Love Song for No One nailed it right and now I think I could have missed my chance and watched him walk away.

Shout Outs.

Sometimes I just want to rip your head off. Really. I do. I see myself in one of those Ally McBeal moments in my head where I just bring out a samurai sword and slash you into little sashimi looking things. Yes. Sometimes.

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I hope you really have a bad day. I was asking nicely and you have to go high and mighty on me. Get a grip woman, it's just an e-mail address.


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You have to stop thinking that every song you hear can be related to her or even me. Songs are songs and I guess it's okay if you can relate to them but to just torture yourself and think that every song on the radio is either me, or her and all the hers that were before/after her... that's just plain stupid. You say you want to grow up, well you don't try so you never will.


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Thank you. I see that you are trying to change and I'm really grateful for that. You left me behind (like everyone else) but I don't blame you because you had a legitimate excuse. I know you are trying to make up for things but just so you know... I'm not a lesbian and she's not my girlfriend. In the words of my DJ friend: "I'm so straight that if I go any straighter I might break."


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I hate that fact that I think I love you.


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You could be a little more considerate


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Thanks for being there for me. I owe you my sanity among other things.


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C'mon! I'm still waiting for your call! I don't know about the rules of this game but usually I never call back. For you, my friend, I will make an exemption. I think that it is time for me to call you... Please say your still available! Please! Please! Please!