A Pat on the Back (Getting over hermit mode).

Okay, so I got through the whole hermit mode month and now it's time to live it up high again and experience life to the fullest again. Thinking about it now, I realized that it wasn't much of a hermit mode. I was able to do a lot of things and experience a lot of firsts... First time to go to Cebu, first work related trip, first time to see this, fist time to that... I think, overall, my November wasn't bad at all and I feel, honestly, blessed that I had a great month.

Every time I think about doing things, I always remember this interview with Carrie Fisher where she was explaining how she does things and that's to death or not at all. I think I'm ready to live life vigorously again and today was a great way to start. Met up with Holly after her "date" with Bob and we were able to talk and catch up. It was a bit hard for me to really focus though because I was hit with a bad case of the blues.

Holly tried cheering me up by reminding me that the Yule Ball (yes, her friends are actually organizing a Yule Ball and she told me to come along) was coming up and I realized that I didn't even have a date to the event... well, I wasn't even sure of going (simply because he will be there) and the last thing I want to be on a Saturday night would be a wallflower. Thus, I am off on a quest to find a date in five days.

A date. Never really thought I'd be thinking about that. For the past year or so, I've been leaning towards the anti-cuddle type with only bouts of cuddle phases during my period. This time around, I think the blues really hit me hard and with everyone having someone this Christmas, I can't help but feel more alone than ever.

So, operation Yule Ball is now a go and I'm to find a date in five days or else I will be going as a wallflower (or with my cousin who will only talk about my weight and not really how he hates my mother to death).  Yup! Let's get this on.

Pumped up,
Someone Anxious

Hermit Mode Clarifications.

Okay, I realized that I sort of have to set some rules for myself about this whole Hermit Mode thing. I have the rules in my head but they're all jumbled up... I hope posting them would help me out.

RULE NO. 1 - Rest days.
Yes, I can still go out on Fridays. The thing is, I am to go home and rest on the Saturday so that I 'm able to fix my things, do my laundry and simply relax and not wonder on what time I'll get home or how long it would take to take the jeep.

RULE NO. 2 - Save up.
I am to save up by not over spending on alcohol and other unnecessary things like snacks I don't need and cabs I don't necessarily have to take.

RULE NO. 3 - Learn.
I need to learn on how to spend my time alone. I think the best way would be to go out alone, shop alone and eat alone... things I haven't done in the longest time.

Hopefully, I'll follow these three rules until the end of November. At the end of it all, I simply just want to feel rejuvenated and in control mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. I also would like to think that by the end of this month...

Changing as I type,
Someone Anxious

Hermit Reflection I.

Some people are real while others just believe they are.
I did go out last Friday with my College friends and had a really great time. I haven't seen them in the longest time and it felt really good to connect with them again.Despite everyone having their own thing going on, we talked as if nothing's changed. I think this was because all of us were sincere about knowing what's happening in each other's lives. No pretenses, no wanting to top the other and no trying to be the best. We were all happy to just know and be in contact with one another. I'm glad we weren't the type to loose touch and drift off. I'm also very happy about being their friend. Somewhere in my youth (yes, I am currently thinking of watching Sound of Music) I made the right choice and made connections with these people.

The best part of hanging out with them? I was able to prove to myself that I am able to have a good time without alcohol. I'm so happy that I was able to prove this to myself. I just don't want to go down that path where I'm going to be dependent on alcohol to have a good time and I've already felt like that for the past few months and last Friday was a refreshing change. I'm glad.

7 days down, 23 days more to go to complete my Hermit Mode.

Someone Anxious.

Hermit Mode.

I've been thinking of doing this for awhile now and I think this month would be the perfect time to do so. I hope you guys (Holly, Janey and Jackie) understand.

I'll be staying low for the weekends for this month. I want to just rest on my Saturdays and not worry about getting home. As you guys know, I live quite far and I'm a bit worn out every time I commute from my place to the places we go.  I tend to spend my money on jeeps that takes two hours long or cabs that make me not eat when I'm at work. I guess I'm just tired.

I need to do laundry regularly now. I can't keep recycling my clothes, looking pretty stupid at work. If I'm being honest, I don't mind but I'm beginning to get weird stares and I'm not a big fan of that. 

I also want to save money. I can't keep living like this. I tend to spend my whole pay every time I'm out during weekends and this never really happened during my first few months at work when I tend to stay at home most of the time. I need to save up and I think the best way I can is to avoid going out for awhile. I don't have the discipline to just spend this much and I'm tired of feeling like my money's going to run out.

I'll also be thinking a lot this month. I really need to stop running now. It's time to face my fear of being alone and out of touch. I think this will help me cleanse myself mentally.

When I'm ready, I'll tell you guys. But for the meantime, I'll be flying low. My last November hurrah would be be this Friday. I'll be meeting my blockmates but that's that.

I hope you guys understand.

Someone Anxious