21 Before 21: Sleep, Talk, Play and Try.

Wow. I'm speechless.

The past few days have been such an experience. I was able to do a lot of things for my 21 before 21 project and I also realized that some friends will really go all the way for you.

SLEEP
For Feb. 23, I went home early and slept for more than 8 hours. After watching Man vs. Food (which, by the way, is quickly becoming my favorite show) I turned off the T.V. and slept until 7 am the next day. I quickly took a shower and rushed off to work feeling quite renewed.

TALK
So, last Friday (Feb. 24) was the conference I've been gushing about for the past three or four weeks. I was really surprised to be part of it (and be a paper presenter, no less). I'm so happy that the groups from my university presented very well and we were able to deliver exactly what was expected of us. Plus, I was able to answer a question from the professors and see old ones as well. Going to the conference, talking to students about theoretical knowledge and mingling with academicians really made me realize that I still want to go back. I still want to take my M.A. and hopefully, my Ph.D. I know I've tried to deny it many times before but now I am certain. Talk made me realize that I still do (and hope) to teach.

PLAY
Wow. I guess we are getting old. Jackie and Janey went with me to an old childhood park and we played football for like 30 minutes or so. Of course, we weren't like the players who just finished their game or the kids who really knew how to kick. But I did have a great time kicking the ball, chasing it while cursing my heart out and trying hard to psych out Jackie as she blocked every goal me and Janey would throw at her. Plus, Jackie surprised me by giving me the ball at the end of the night saying that it was her advanced birthday gift for me. So surprised. I really thought that she bought the ball for herself (being the football fan that she is). Then, Janey treated me to some chicken wings, chicken fingers and beer! First time at an Irish pub! We were joined by our friends Michelle (hahahaha! Yup, that's her code name) and drank Strongbow. Michelle treated us to nachos and we had fun talking, teasing Janey about rugby (which was playing while we were there) and talking about random things. I was so drunk that I fell asleep in Janey's car. Honestly, I really don't remember how we end up back in our place.

TRY
I do feel bad for skipping my grandmother's birthday for the conference so I decided to treat her and my uncle to cake and coffee last Sunday. I've tried this restaurant many times before but not this specific branch. I was so surprised on how good the cakes are and how big the slices were. I'm rarely a cake person but I thought that this was a good day to try something new. I'm glad I did.

16 more to go!

Someone Anxious.

I envision my curves taking the mic.

Allow me to say:

I love the fact that even though I have flabs, my curves are predominantly present. Wearing a nice tight-fitting dress always make people notice that I am a woman... a beautiful woman in fact. The dream is to get enough money to buy more dresses that highlights my curves. Finally enrolling myself to a gym would be nice too.

I'll be speaking on behalf of my old college org next week and I can't help but wonder what people would think of me. I won't know everybody there and I certainly am not chummy chums with the Vice Dean or the Academic Assistant. I will still know quite a few people there... An old block mate and a close friend, younger kids who took up the same course, the guy who did his OJT here in my office and a lot of other peeps who think I'm living the consultancy dream.

 Holly and I talked about this last week and she told me to just be honest about the whole thing. They shouldn't be expecting rainbows and butterflies, especially when I know for certain that it won't be even near to that. So far, I've drafted my supposedly speech (I'm not even sure if I'm actually giving a speech of sorts but I prepared it just in case) and I think I've gone as honest as I can without hurting anyone. I'm not killing the "dream" but I'm not exaggerating with myself. I wrote down why I honestly choose the course (Yes, Holly. Aside from the fact that you told me it will help me enter the university, it was the long name of the degree program that sealed the deal). I also wrote down how one should be open to change. The degree is really flexible and you can, if you want to, find yourself in other career paths that you never really thought possible. 


I think you guys will hate me for writing this (that's you Holly, Janey and Jackie) but I do confess that one of the reasons why I want to look good, sound good and feel good for myself that day is because I want to see him and him see me. I want to sort of prove my self even though there is really nothing to prove. I think about nights passed by and I wonder if they really even did happen. To be honest, I do want it to happen again.


Still, I've grown a little and I won't be calling. I won't go through that again even if I do want it to happen. I think I've been burned enough to know that the fire is hot and it is not to be played with. I think I've come to accept that I fell in love with an idea and not the person itself (I will never really admit it outright though).


Moving on,
Someone Anxious