Looking for Something Stronger...

FROM: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7qdcgzyL41ry9ftto1_500.jpg

Last night, instead of going to a friend's DJ competition, I decided to go to an acquaintance's birthday party (as requested by our common friend). At first, I just wanted to stay at home, but I started thinking about getting my lazy ass out there and maybe bumping into people I haven't seen in a long time. So, I stood up, took a bath and placed make-up on (since I've decided to be more "out there" just in case I meet "the one" or "Mr. I'm a Good Fuck for the Night".

Little did I know that it wouldn't be such as amazing or fun as I thought it would be.

My friend, asked me to go to another friend's house near my village as she spent the day there with her high school friends. She called a cab from there and we went to our friend's apartment. Looking back, I honestly felt a little bit used. Like I was merely my friend's chaperon during our cab ride. Why would I be asked to go in the first place? I'm not a close friend of the celebrant, not part of the inner group nor am I even close to the majority of people invited...

When we got there, everyone was practically in their pajamas. The first comment to me was: "Heeeeeey! You're wearing make-up...." Yup. I just wanted to look nice. Honestly, I just wanted to look really really pretty. So pretty that I wouldn't have to think about being the wallflower for once. Anyways, it doesn't matter since we just spent the rest of the night eating chips, pizza and playing a movie drinking game. A movie, which I'm really not as passionate about like most people. I don't get it really. I mean, I guess it's nice and the story is really dark but, c'mon! Do I seem like a person who would want to watch a man talk in a weird husky voice while chasing a clown in a city filled with people who just don't care?

Plus, when I was finally starting to socialize, the person I was talking to was always swept away by my friend which I found totally annoying. Yes, I know you have big news but I thought you were waiting for everyone to get settled? I'm pretty sure there's still something there between them... like a hidden attention-attaraction disorder.

I know they say that when in Rome, do what the Romans do but honestly, I think I'd rather be in India. I really wish people would try to be a little bit more considerate when inviting people to parties. Especially to house parties... 

The thing is, I'm okay. I'm okay that I went. It was nice seeing people I had fun moments with two years ago. It was great to talk to a friend about work and plans (before he was swept away to talk about another friend's big announcement). In fact, I had a great time eating chips, cookies and pizza. 

But there's just that feeling that it would have been alright if I didn't go in the first place. Maybe I should have just went to that club (despite how uncomfortable I am when I'm in one) and supported my DJ friend.  Maybe I should have just stayed home and saw that documentary in History that I've been dying to watch. 

Maybe, just maybe, I lied when I bid goodbye and said I'll see them soon.

Someone Anxious

On Restlessness.

For almost five months, I've been up and about for most of my weekends. There was always something to do. Meet friends here. Go to the supplier (for our online jewelry store). Meet my grandmother and uncle for our usual Sunday tradition.

I'm not used to staying home anymore. 

Last weekend, I was forced (due to the weather) to stay at home. My dad practically banned me from going out. It was during this ban that I've come to realize that home is not really home for me. It was a place that where I could sleep or use the bathroom with... but it is not what I know is home. 

This idea made me nothing but restless.

It made me want to get out, to run away from the cobwebs that surrounded my father's apartment. 

As my father served me big portions of spaghetti and cordon bleu, I stared at how jovial he was to see me home. I saw how happy he was that for the first time in months, he did not have to give me a ride to my uncle's house. 

Honestly, it made me kinda sad. 

I realized that we both want different things. I want to go, he wants me to stay (simply because he never really had me before). I want to leave and see the world, he already saw the world and is tired of it. I live to know, he knows how to live. The list goes on forever and I almost cried while eating my asparagus ridden cordon bleu simply because I understood.

I understood that he will never ever help me find that apartment (regardless of his connections and abilities), he will never understand the pressure I am to leave and he will never understand that I know how hard it is for him to have me there. 

For the first time in awhile, I was restless and restlessness made me realize that there are things that I badly want. It may be irrational to want them but I want them nonetheless. I want them because I can never find peace without it. 

I've come to accept that I am a

Restless soul,

Someone Anxious

Shakin'

I often wonder why people always assume that I'm not doing anything.

Friday night, after finalizing my schedule, my sister called in to ask a favor. Go to the south, place and ad for her in the newspaper of where we used to live. I've come to accept that some people don't really ask. Regardless of how they phrase it, they already assume that you'll do it. After all, they'll pay you back, etc.

Still, I hate it when people call last minute.

Just like my uncle when he called me Friday night and told me to come to his house early.

He cancelled a minute before I was to wake up and my dad decided to leave our house 30 minutes later than I expected.

Wow. I really do wonder why people assume that I'm not going to be hassled. Contrary to popular belief, I don't like being late.

Still, I've had a pretty shaking Saturday. I met Holly in the south and she helped me with posting the ad and a few other errands. Afterwards, we took a bus to the city and I met the Certified Olympian. She treated me to lunch and we watched a movie afterwards.

For dinner, I met up with Frances and one of our other college friends. It was nice. Short. Simple and nice.

Looking forward to more shakin' Saturdays,

Someone Anxious

Mountain Weekend

Going up to the mountains with friends have always been fun for me. Holly, Jackie, Janey and I had/have a tradition of going up to Holly's rest house twice a year. And although, I never get to see them as much anymore, I eagerly wait for all of us to hang out soon.

Last weekend, Frances and our college gang finally took our long awaited trip up to the mountains. Frances' family had a great rest house over looking the lake and we had a great time looking over the city lights as  fog surrounded us. Let  me start from the beginning.

Every other Friday, my college friends and I all meet up and eat somewhere we can't really afford. Then we drink coffee at a local cafe and talk until around 3 in the morning. Of course, our parents barely believe us... who in their right minds would think that their 20 something children are out on a Friday night drinking coffee?

It was during one of these nights that some of us decided to go and plan a trip to the mountains. Frances' house was available all year round and we just decided to set a date and go. And that's exactly what we did last weekend. Those who could make it, came and we hurried off to the mountains after office hours, beating the city traffic. We got to the house at around 1 in the morning and we immediately started a game of scrabble. The next day was spent doing groceries (Iron Chef!), going around the place, horse back riding and eating at one of my favorite coffee places on earth!

Such an amazing weekend, one that I would always be happy to remember. I'm glad.

I hope you are too.

Someone Anxious

Of cheeseburgers, best friends and accessories.

Do you ever look back and say: "Boy! What a weekend!" Well, this post is all about that.

Last Friday, I prepared for a weekend away from home. I was supposed to spend Friday night at Holly's place and then I was supposed to meet and spend the rest of the weekend at France's place for our accessories shop opening.

Hanging out with Holly is always refreshing and quite satisfying. We had dinner at this restaurant near my office that I've been dying to try for quite some time already. She also allowed me to get my white skirt from my uncle (which will be Friday's outfit). By the time we got to her house, we had a Gossip Girl session (where we didn't watch any episodes at all) and imagined HS with GG in tow. Let's just say that we couldn't stop laughing and up to now, I still smile thinking about all the possible posts that could have been.

I'm also thankful for the success of our launch. Frances and I have been planning this online accessory store for months already and we're thankful that everything went well. Selling during the Sunday Market at her village was a great idea (as we were able to meet new people (hoping they will add us on Facebook), do some PR for the store and spend the rest of the afternoon nursing a very bad sunburn (Frances especially).

Even though I got home to a non-existent dinner (thanks to my brother who ate my share), I felt satisfied that my weekend was both productive and successful.

Here's to a million more sleepovers and business ideas!

XOXO
Someone Anxious ;)

Skirt.

I haven't had such an energetic weekend in awhile.

It all started last Friday when my college friends decided to spontaneously meet for dinner. We had a really late dinner at the mall and coffee afterwards. We did the usual routine, buy food we usually can't afford and drink really expensive coffee we can't seem to digest.

What's amazing with our Friday Night Hangouts is how we never really loose out of touch. We're always interested in what's happening with one another and we always laugh about the most mundane things. There's Frances who I never fail to bond over clothes and our job woes. There's Dan who is perpetually in love with her and never fails to laugh. Then there's Vic who always wait for people to meet up first before he joins us and there's Jon who never fails to say something and make us all laugh.

I'm sure as hell lucky that we all meet up every other week.

The next day, I had to go to work for an ocular trip and right after, I met the Certified Olympian who graciously treated me to a movie. Afterwards, we spent the late afternoon dining and walking around the mall looking at clothes and buying toiletries.

It was nice having such a relaxing afternoon, being myself and talking about things. Lately, I needed a positive boost and the Certified Olympian selflessly provided it. I've never had such a great time just walking around and talking about almost anything and everything under the sun. In fact, I haven't laughed like that in the longest time.

Sunday, I met with my uncle and my grandmother. We celebrated my 21st birthday (as I wasn't able to meet them on the day itself) at one of my favorite restaurants and we had coffee and cake afterwards. Then I went with my uncle to ye ol' fabric shop where I got lost feeling different fabrics and talking about different designs. I often wonder why I never decided to pursue a more artistically centered profession like him. He seemed so happy and at ease choosing the right fabric for his clients.

Same day, I shared with my uncle of my dream skirt I've always wanted to have. I could never find a ready made one so I told him about the style. Amazingly, he knew exactly what it looked like and just like that, he bought the fabric needed to make one. I can't wait until the skirt is finished! Then I'll have the perfect outfit in mind.

-Someone Anxious.

Because we're only fed on the weekends...

Apparently, we end up eating everything on Saturdays.

Had another adventure with Holly, Janey and Jackie last Saturday. After watching rugby with Jane (we drank a whole bottle of wine and I made make shift pizza and pasta which we completely devoured), we picked up Jackie at Mt. Mcdo and headed to Holly's place. From there, we all decided to go cliff searching and ended up in one of the most beautiful places on earth: New Valley (get it, guys?)

What can I say? We ate in one of my favorite restaurants and I had a pound of wings (Holly only ate like 2 pieces or something so I got the most of the order still) together with an order of mac and cheese and some good ol' cheesecake ice cream. Amazing!

courtesy of winawonders.blogspot.com

So here's a list of what I ate for that Saturday:

• Potato Salad (Lunch with Dad)
• Cordon Bleu (sp?) w/ Rice  (Thanks, Dad!)
• Make shift pizza (left over cordon bleu, tomatoes and cheese)
• Make shift lasagna (tortilla bread, corned beef tomato sauce and cheese)
• Tortilla Bread
• 1 Pound Chicken Wings
• Mac and Cheese
• Cheesecake Ice Cream
• Chocolate Chip Ice Cream (at Holly's house)

Then everything I drank:

• Water
• Iced Tea (for Lunch with Dad)
• Half a Bottle of Sangria Wine (during Rugby with Janey)
• Orange Juice (Mcdo with Janey)
• Water
• More Iced Tea (I was really thirsty)
• Rootbeer
• California Red (More Wine at Holly's)
• More Sangria (absolutely love Sangria!)

The next day, after doing the usual family traditions, I met up with Janey, Holly and Jackie again. We finally saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo while eating popcorn, fries (c/o Jackie) and Rootbeer (I love Rootbeer).  

BTW. To that ass in the movie house, I really hope you have a bad day today. Like, get arrested or something.

Going back... Yup! We're only fed during the weekends!

Eating, 

Someone Anxious.

Craving for the weekend.

Don't you just love the weekend? One of my favorite hobbies during the weekdays would be making plans for the weekend. In fact, I find making plans to be a relaxing chore because it tells me I have somewhere to go and someone expecting me. Besides, staying at home, watching T.V. is just plain depressing for me.

How about you guys?

Someone Anxious.

Another Unusual Weekend Adventure.

As I hurry to Holly's house that Friday, I never really thought that I'd be spending my Saturday in her rest house at the mountains and my Sunday at her grandmother's 90th birthday.

Here's how it happened...

After having drinks with my officemates, I rush to Holly's village with a cheap bottle of brandy and coke. Holly, Jackie and Janey already had a couple of glasses and we started talking about life in general (as usual) while pouring powder onto my feet. Several courage pacts later, we were in a car giving Janey and Jackie a lift home. After dropping Janey off, we went to Jackie's house. Drank wine, ate pizza, crackers and ended at around 3 in the morning. Then went back with Holly to her place and finally went to sleep.

They next morning, Holly woke me up and asked if I wanted to go with her and her dad to meet up her mom who was at work for the weekend in the mountains... Had no plans and was just going to bum so I thought... what the hell! Got up, took a shower and got dressed. After lunch, we started the road trip. The rain wasn't that hard despite the storm signals and the weather was refreshing. It felt a little bit like Christmas and Holly and I talked our hearts out most of the time.

While smoking outside Holly's rest house, we talked about life and certain things that we miss.  We both agreed on a social pact that we're going to test out for the next two months.

Going home, my uncle called and cancelled on me. This was when Holly's mom invited me to a family reunion of sorts. It was Holly's grandmother's 90th birthday and they were having a family gathering of sorts in her Aunt's house. I decided to go (simply because I had nothing better to do until around 6 pm that day) and felt a little bit awkward with the whole situation.

After, we went to the mall so that Holly could get her haircut and met up with an old friend of our, Cat. For the longest time now, I've been trying to avoid her simply because I don't feel comfortable around her. I thought I was in for an hour of ranting and annoying conversation topics when we met up with her. To my surprise, there was nothing but sincerity and plain old catching up between the three of us.

After, I met up with two old high school friends and I've come to realize how different I am. Unlike my friends, I don't feel like going back and being young. I don't have the compulsion to wish that I was young again. In the end, we parted ways knowing that even if we feel different, talk different and act different, we would still meet up in the future.

I got home a little before midnight and had a quick Peking duck and soy chicken dinner with my dad. Took a long shower and finally went to bed hoping that I'll wake up just in time for work the next day.

Guess what?

I did.

Someone Anxious

Of Cars and Restaurants.

Exactly how many cars are there that match yours? Exactly how many branches of the same restaurants you promised to go are there? Fuck it!

This weekend, I'm supposed to take a leap of faith and see if the odds are against or with me. I'm not going to talk about it outright (because I might just jinx it) but I think things will be alright. :)

Just realized this is such a bipolar post.

Someone Anxious.