Security

And all you can do is just wait by the moon and bleed if it's what she says you oughta do.

- Here's looking at you, kid by The Gaslight Anthem   

The Fool inspired me to talk about safety and how growing up makes you feel like loosing that sense of security you feel about everything. Back when I was young, everything was linear. Everything was one tracked and thus, easy to figure things out. You meet someone, you start liking them, you spend time with them, you begin something more personal, a small misunderstanding, a big fight and then the break-up. 

Now, I realized that everything is different. One does not necessarily lead to another. I guess, in a way, growing up has taught me that you have the ability to not make everything linear. Although, you have to be more cautious because now, it's double the pain. You will hurt more and you will cry more simply because more emotions are invested, more risks are involved and you are gambling on a game that you always loose upon playing the first round. 

I'm thinking about it now, is this journey to find what we are looking for worth it? Is getting our hearts crushed and crying our hearts out every night worth it? Why do we keep looking for that special someone, our prince charming? Why do we keep falling in love with him and him and him and him even if we know that there is no way in this world they will ever even like us back? Why do we keep searching for that perfect moment, that moment that makes our heart stop and allows us to grin like fools amongst random strangers we encounter. 

Because it's all worth it. 

And if waiting is what I have to do to get back into your good graces or for you to realize that I'm here and that I may be hurt but just one call, just one explanation can fix everything then I'm here.

I'm waiting.