(noun) \nä-ˈstal-jə, nə- also nȯ-, nō-; nə-ˈstäl-\
: a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition; also :something that evokes nostalgia (According to Mr. Webster online).
I used to associate every man I ever met to a song. My best friend and I would spend hours going through the "men of our lives" and the songs we would dedicate to them. Now, every time I hear a song from my youth I remember a boy who is now a man or a boy whom I thought was a man or another man who was really more of a boy. Then I realize, I will never ever have them back simply because I don't live in a fairytale anymore. The princess grew up and realized that her castle was merely a five floor walk up and her ball gowns were really hand me down dresses. I'm nostalgic for that feeling of blissful ignorance. I'm longing for the days were I used to innocently dream for my prince who would show me that the world was cruel but everything would be alright because he was there and I was with him.
I realized that I grew up the moment I became aware that life is painful, love is deceptive and we do nothing but succumb. I'm nostalgic for the days where I thought the opposite. I'm nostalgic for the thoughts that life is beautiful, love is true and we have control over our selves. I'm nostalgic for the possibility of him and me and the world around me.
Yes, I'm nostalgic for you, whoever you are. Yes, I'm nostalgic for you, once the love of my life who could have been my best friend and yes, I am nostalgic for you too, my lover who broke my heart in two.
I still love you, I still love all of you.
someone anxious.
