I know I know I know

Another Friday Night Out with my college friends passed last week and I can't help but wonder how people have certain things stuck in their heads (most likely) forever.

I can't blame them. It's stuck on mine too (most likely) forever.

I've been thinking about the things that we can't forget. Case and point: Him. If you know me well, you might  know that I used to have a high school sweetheart of sorts. He was my first boyfriend and, sadly, my first missed kiss. I wasn't really in love with him. In fact, I'm not really sure why I was with him. It was weird to have someone as your boyfriend and just feel like you were someone's psychiatrist. It didn't feel right when you wanted to be open about it but had to hide it just in case the nuns would find out or worse, his sister.

It honestly didn't feel right and that's why I couldn't forget about it.

I was watching My Best Friend's Wedding the other week and I thought: "Hey, that's me there." I'm Julia Roberts. Why? Because even though I knew it didn't feel right and I can never ever stop ranting how not up to par he is, I still can't forget about him. That scene where she rages on about how Michael was in love with him for all those years is the same scene that happens when I meet up with Holly (except no weddings are mentioned).

Do I love him? That's why I can't forget him? I do. But there's not enough there to be with him. I guess it's one of those I love him but I'm not in love with him.

And (in true Tegan and Sara) fashion,

I know I know I know,

I'm still your love.

Someone Anxious.