"Laugh until we think we'll die.
Barefoot on a summer night...
... Never could be sweeter than with you."
-Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros, Home.
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A few months ago, I made a declaration to the universe. Theoretically it was a very simple goal in which Holly thought was funny and Janey felt like it was totally me to say so.
I said that I'll get married by 2013.
I didn't say it simply because I was sad and lonely. I didn't say it because I was jealous with Janey's romance with Indie or Holly's superb sex life with his beau. I said it simply because I felt like I wanted it...
I know this is such a weird goal and it doesn't really go with my whole facade (nor my "By the time I reach 30 plan"). But, I'm so sick and tired of being against love or being stingy about it that I think this is the best time in my life to just take a leap of faith.
There were times when I don't believe in it (sometimes I still don't). I've seen enough broken and lifeless marriages in my lifetime to know that we don't always marry what we want. But, I still believe (as I told Janey), that I deserve and will have something as clear as water and as innocent as teddy bear hugs.
I guess, what I'm saying is that I more open to it at this very moment than I am most of the time.
That's a good thing, right?
Let's face it. I'll still fall in love with jerks, hypocrites and cry babies. I'm pretty sure one night stands with a couple of mama's boys and all around A.holes will be involved. But then, at least I'm trying. I'm smiling while I'm trying and I won't be so negative about it.
When the situation is right... we will meet, my love.
Less than three months to go for 2013.
For the meantime, let me practice my nonchalant face (remove my searching eye) and flirting lines.
Practicing,
Someone Anxious
