...but never have the courage to.
There are a million things I would love to say to you. There are a million questions I would love to ask. In fact, there are a million things I wish I could say but I know I never would because I simply lack the courage to.
I often wonder if I'll ever know. I often wonder if I'll ever get to. Honestly, I simply often wonder about you. Is it too much to ask for that happily ever after I know I'll never have? Does it even matter if I'll ever have a chance to have it with you?
Maybe I should just continue to think of you before I go to sleep. Maybe I should just continue to hope every morning that our paths will cross again. Maybe, just maybe, someday we will.
And when that day comes, when we finally see each other and stop midst the crowded city sidewalk, I can finally smile and simply ask: "How are you?" without hoping for a "Let's go out some time." reply.
And I hope I have the courage to say: "Sure." knowing that we never will have that night out.
Don't worry, dearest. I'm learning. I'm learning that I'm not the only one and that there are others out there writing the same letter, hoping for the same hopes and dreaming the same dream all because of you. Don't worry, dearest. I know you know how much I'm affected. I'm learning not to be. But for this moment. Let me just say (In a very Erich Segal's Love Story kind of way)...
...I miss you, you fucking bastard.
Always,
Me.
I'm thinking of writing a story made up of open letters. This might be the first part and I'm thinking of posting it here (Holly, remember Brighter?). What do you guys think?
S. Anxious.
