Anticipating for days you long for always seem like a long wait. Maybe it's because you simply can't wait for something new or different.
At times I wonder if negative things we encounter are truly but signs that things will be better. A close friend of ours once told Holly that we may never be truly sure if things are a sign or a test. So I ask myself now, is this a sign or is this a test?
A little bit flustered,
Someone Anxious.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
A little bit of happiness (inspired by the Certified Olympian)
As I was checking the Certified Olympian's blog, I was inspired to answer her simple question on happiness.
She asked:
I would often write about staying positive and of good times. However, I've come to realize that there are only a couple of moments in this world when I am truly happy. Let me share them with you.
Happy Moment No. 1: When I am with friends.
I'd like to think that there's nothing better than hanging out with a couple of good friends, enjoying good food and having a couple of drinks. In fact, these are the moments when you cut yourself loose and stop pretending since real friends don't care about the superficiality of life. They don't care if your dirt poor or filthy rich. They don't care if your snobby, a hopeless romantic or shy. All they care about (and what you should care about) is your company and that you are able to share anything and everything with them.
Happy Moment No. 2: When my family treats me like an adult.
There are moments in this world that I often feel a little put out because my father never treats me the way he should. Since I only started living with him a year ago (and that he completely missed out my baby stage), he tends to treat me like a kid. In fact, everyone in my immediate family does. Maybe this is the curse of being the youngest and being a girl. Thus, every moment when my family talks to me like an adult and converses with me without the usual jokes, taunts or even nicknames makes me jump for joy. Moments like these make me hope that they finally see. Of course, it is ruined once my dad calls me "baby" (pronounced as "Bheeh-Bheeh") or when my uncle dismisses my ideas (Yes tito, I know that face).
Happy Moment No. 3: When I Eat Something I Absolutely Love.
Let's face it. I've perfectly substituted food with having a boyfriend, fubu, fiance, husband and lover. In fact, I think I've even substituted it for nicotine. I'm happy when I know I'm satisfied and one of the things that satisfy me the most is when I'm eating good food, having great wine or simply tasting something completely new to me. I can always count on an order of chicken wings or a simple chocolate bar to always brighten up my day.
How about you? When are you truly happy?
-Someone Anxious.
She asked:
"When do you find yourself truly happy?"
I would often write about staying positive and of good times. However, I've come to realize that there are only a couple of moments in this world when I am truly happy. Let me share them with you.
Happy Moment No. 1: When I am with friends.
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| source: http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/shotsstudio/shotsstudio1106/shotsstudio110600173/9887565-friends-sitting-on-couch-laughing-at-comedy-movie.jpg |
Happy Moment No. 2: When my family treats me like an adult.
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| source: http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/content/pictures/family/SimpsonsFamily2.gif |
Happy Moment No. 3: When I Eat Something I Absolutely Love.
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| souce: http://www.graphicsbydezign.com/images/clip-art/food-fast.gif |
How about you? When are you truly happy?
-Someone Anxious.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Of cheeseburgers, best friends and accessories.
Do you ever look back and say: "Boy! What a weekend!" Well, this post is all about that.
Last Friday, I prepared for a weekend away from home. I was supposed to spend Friday night at Holly's place and then I was supposed to meet and spend the rest of the weekend at France's place for our accessories shop opening.
Hanging out with Holly is always refreshing and quite satisfying. We had dinner at this restaurant near my office that I've been dying to try for quite some time already. She also allowed me to get my white skirt from my uncle (which will be Friday's outfit). By the time we got to her house, we had a Gossip Girl session (where we didn't watch any episodes at all) and imagined HS with GG in tow. Let's just say that we couldn't stop laughing and up to now, I still smile thinking about all the possible posts that could have been.
I'm also thankful for the success of our launch. Frances and I have been planning this online accessory store for months already and we're thankful that everything went well. Selling during the Sunday Market at her village was a great idea (as we were able to meet new people (hoping they will add us on Facebook), do some PR for the store and spend the rest of the afternoon nursing a very bad sunburn (Frances especially).
Even though I got home to a non-existent dinner (thanks to my brother who ate my share), I felt satisfied that my weekend was both productive and successful.
Here's to a million more sleepovers and business ideas!
XOXO
Someone Anxious ;)
Last Friday, I prepared for a weekend away from home. I was supposed to spend Friday night at Holly's place and then I was supposed to meet and spend the rest of the weekend at France's place for our accessories shop opening.
Hanging out with Holly is always refreshing and quite satisfying. We had dinner at this restaurant near my office that I've been dying to try for quite some time already. She also allowed me to get my white skirt from my uncle (which will be Friday's outfit). By the time we got to her house, we had a Gossip Girl session (where we didn't watch any episodes at all) and imagined HS with GG in tow. Let's just say that we couldn't stop laughing and up to now, I still smile thinking about all the possible posts that could have been.
I'm also thankful for the success of our launch. Frances and I have been planning this online accessory store for months already and we're thankful that everything went well. Selling during the Sunday Market at her village was a great idea (as we were able to meet new people (hoping they will add us on Facebook), do some PR for the store and spend the rest of the afternoon nursing a very bad sunburn (Frances especially).
Even though I got home to a non-existent dinner (thanks to my brother who ate my share), I felt satisfied that my weekend was both productive and successful.
Here's to a million more sleepovers and business ideas!
XOXO
Someone Anxious ;)
Monday, April 16, 2012
Between the drinks and subtle things: A blogpost challenge.
This line from Fun.'s We Are Young reminds me of what this blog WAS all about. I remember when I was still blogging under the idea of jotting down intoxicated driven adventures under the starry sky. How I've grown! I think what's amazing is that this blog continues to grow with me despite everything. From blogging about "him" to jotting down about my food adventures, this is the one thing that's been constant in my life.
I often wonder if you guys notice it too... Do you notice how everyone's changed? Do you notice how everyone acts in cycles? Do you even notice the difference between a life altering post to a normal "created due to boredom' one?
Most importantly, do you notice how YOU'VE changed?
Thus, I decided to create the Drinks and Subtle Things Challenge. It's simple really. Just re-read and post three major ones you've published before. Then think of the things you know now that you wish you knew then. Think of what you've missed and what the whole thing taught you during that time. This way, at least you get to appreciate where you stand (or sit while typing) right now.
Here's mine.
1.) Another Wasted Outfit (link)
I like to think that this post started it all. Prior to this post, it was just snippets of what I've learned, how I could relate quotes and minor details that I could share with a random stranger and not feel anything about it. Then for some unknown reason, I started writing a post about how I felt. I started to look deep inside me and write about what other people think is plain crazy. Then it made sense to me because I understood that only by writing about something that truly comes from within me could I ever be considered as an acceptable writer. Even up to this day, I think this is my best post ever.
Something I wish I knew then: He's an ass. He will always be one to you. Not because he's generally an ass but simply because you are not as special as you thought. Only when you it is right will it be right. Don't force yourself and accept the truth. You were but a fleeting fancy and that's okay. Marianne had her Willoughby before she had her Col. Brandon.
2.) Cuddle. (link)
At the end of the day, it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone to share how your day went and how things have been. At the end of the day, despite everything, it would be nice to be with someone who wants to be with you. However, there are some things you can never ever force. He may never want you the same way you want him. He may never want to hold you the same way you want to hold him and this will just frustrate you.
Something I wish I knew then: There's a reason why you're blogging about your frustrations, kid. There's a reason why you're frustrated so forget about it. Honestly, it's not worth it.
3.) Sexist. (link)
This post is one of my most "rational" ones ever and I believe that my arguments are quite sound. I guess this is a glimpse of how I will write in the future.
Something I wish I knew then: It will be always a loosing battle when it comes to "him" so don't even start. As the Princess of Wales once said: "There is dignity in silence."
That's it! I hope you guys take the time to do this challenge (or read mine).
-S.Anxious.
I often wonder if you guys notice it too... Do you notice how everyone's changed? Do you notice how everyone acts in cycles? Do you even notice the difference between a life altering post to a normal "created due to boredom' one?
Most importantly, do you notice how YOU'VE changed?
Thus, I decided to create the Drinks and Subtle Things Challenge. It's simple really. Just re-read and post three major ones you've published before. Then think of the things you know now that you wish you knew then. Think of what you've missed and what the whole thing taught you during that time. This way, at least you get to appreciate where you stand (or sit while typing) right now.
Here's mine.
1.) Another Wasted Outfit (link)
I like to think that this post started it all. Prior to this post, it was just snippets of what I've learned, how I could relate quotes and minor details that I could share with a random stranger and not feel anything about it. Then for some unknown reason, I started writing a post about how I felt. I started to look deep inside me and write about what other people think is plain crazy. Then it made sense to me because I understood that only by writing about something that truly comes from within me could I ever be considered as an acceptable writer. Even up to this day, I think this is my best post ever.
Something I wish I knew then: He's an ass. He will always be one to you. Not because he's generally an ass but simply because you are not as special as you thought. Only when you it is right will it be right. Don't force yourself and accept the truth. You were but a fleeting fancy and that's okay. Marianne had her Willoughby before she had her Col. Brandon.
2.) Cuddle. (link)
At the end of the day, it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone to share how your day went and how things have been. At the end of the day, despite everything, it would be nice to be with someone who wants to be with you. However, there are some things you can never ever force. He may never want you the same way you want him. He may never want to hold you the same way you want to hold him and this will just frustrate you.
Something I wish I knew then: There's a reason why you're blogging about your frustrations, kid. There's a reason why you're frustrated so forget about it. Honestly, it's not worth it.
3.) Sexist. (link)
This post is one of my most "rational" ones ever and I believe that my arguments are quite sound. I guess this is a glimpse of how I will write in the future.
Something I wish I knew then: It will be always a loosing battle when it comes to "him" so don't even start. As the Princess of Wales once said: "There is dignity in silence."
That's it! I hope you guys take the time to do this challenge (or read mine).
-S.Anxious.
A Little Musical Inspiration: Fun. featuring Janelle Monae
"My seat's been taken by some sunglasses
asking 'bout a scar
and I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you're trying to forget
but between the drinks and subtle things
the holes in my apologies
you know I'm trying hard to take it back."
I've heard the Glee version before and I wasn't really into it as I thought. It didn't struck me as much as Gotye's Somebody I Used to Know and it never uplifted me the same way Camera Obscura did. But yesterday, as I was experiencing what I dubbed as "morning traffic from hell" I decided to tune in to the radio instead of listening to my music files.
Surprisingly refreshing, Fun. was playing and it instantly made me smile. Despite the traffic, the heat of the sun (never ride cars without tint) and the annoying on-going construction at a nearby bridge, this song made me smile.
I absolutely love the lines: "I know I gave it to you months ago" and "I know you're trying to forget". There's something about the way the lines are sung that makes my heart leap.
A must hear!
S. Anxious
Sunday, April 15, 2012
A little bit of business.
I was never really born to this world to have my own business. I was never a budding entrepreneur growing up (I detested the idea of selling things that could be mine) when I could simply be a buyer instead. Unlike most people, our friend Enrique to name one, I find it so effing hard to make projections, choose items and take into consideration everything that is sold and bought. I was never really gifted to see the bigger picture of supply and demand.
Thus, I am amazed at how amazingly well things are going for my side project.
What started out as an idea with a college friend is now a full fledged business project. We're launching on Sunday and I honestly can't wait to see how everything goes. I'm hoping of taking this the whole way and I'm hoping it will help me get started on other side projects I've envisioned for me.
Wish me luck!
Someone Anxious
Thus, I am amazed at how amazingly well things are going for my side project.
What started out as an idea with a college friend is now a full fledged business project. We're launching on Sunday and I honestly can't wait to see how everything goes. I'm hoping of taking this the whole way and I'm hoping it will help me get started on other side projects I've envisioned for me.
Wish me luck!
Someone Anxious
Sometimes...
...I don't appreciate the things you associate with me.
My friends, I honestly don't find it funny. Honestly, I just wanted to greet all of you and tell you guys that I'm hoping you have a great time without me.
So much for being with all of you in spirit (or over the phone).
Whatever.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
A Little Musical Inspiration: Gotye
Some songs are just truly addictive.
I can't stop listening to Gotye's Somebody I Used To Know. There's something about the beat of the song and his voice that makes the whole thing so damn addicting. I absolutely love the chorus when he goes one octave higher. It never fails to give me goosebumps.
One of the best break-up songs out there!
Someone Anxious
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| http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqeq7mldFK1qb4uymo1_500.gif |
One of the best break-up songs out there!
Someone Anxious
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Displacement.
It's been more than a year now and in a way, I am still grieving. I'm currently cooped up in uncle's house and I absolutely dread the day that I move back here. I hate it here. In fact, I think I hate it anywhere.
Not too many people know how I really feel and I think that I've been loosing strings as days pass. Let's face it, there are only a few who truly care to know and there's the rest of the world who tends to just think that everything is okay or that everyone is as strong as them. I'm not and I hate you for thinking that I am
People have no idea how much I don't feel like I belong. I certainly don't belong here in this house being locked by my uncle to watch over my grandmother. I also don't belong in my father's apartment where he constantly doesn't allow me to cook and I just waste my days watching the tele. And no matter how hard I try or no matter how many opportunities are given to me, I still feel like crap because at the end of the day, I'm stuck. Forget pleasing people. I'm stuck because the things I want to do or hanged in front of me and people simply expect me to run after it like a horse chasing a carrot. And so I continue running hoping that the universe may one day see it fit to feed me that awful carrot. Still. I know. The universe doesn't owe anyone anything. But forgive me for being angry because I still honestly believe that I deserve so much better and I'm just too fucking nice to save some for myself.
I guess this vacation isn't turning out the way I hoped it would and I guess being forced to go to sleep at 10 in the evening doesn't do well with my brain. There's gotta be a place out there that I belong and finding one is on top of my list. Forget everything else. This year's goal is to just drop everything and find home.
Someone Anxious
Not too many people know how I really feel and I think that I've been loosing strings as days pass. Let's face it, there are only a few who truly care to know and there's the rest of the world who tends to just think that everything is okay or that everyone is as strong as them. I'm not and I hate you for thinking that I am
People have no idea how much I don't feel like I belong. I certainly don't belong here in this house being locked by my uncle to watch over my grandmother. I also don't belong in my father's apartment where he constantly doesn't allow me to cook and I just waste my days watching the tele. And no matter how hard I try or no matter how many opportunities are given to me, I still feel like crap because at the end of the day, I'm stuck. Forget pleasing people. I'm stuck because the things I want to do or hanged in front of me and people simply expect me to run after it like a horse chasing a carrot. And so I continue running hoping that the universe may one day see it fit to feed me that awful carrot. Still. I know. The universe doesn't owe anyone anything. But forgive me for being angry because I still honestly believe that I deserve so much better and I'm just too fucking nice to save some for myself.
"Home is wherever I'm with you."
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
I guess this vacation isn't turning out the way I hoped it would and I guess being forced to go to sleep at 10 in the evening doesn't do well with my brain. There's gotta be a place out there that I belong and finding one is on top of my list. Forget everything else. This year's goal is to just drop everything and find home.
Someone Anxious
Monday, April 2, 2012
A New Addiction.
I'm addicted to many different things. Weird Harry Potter pairings, fanfiction, (back then) CSI and nicotine. I'm also addicted to dreaming, hoping and wishing to win the lottery. But lately, I've been forming a new addiction. In fact, I've been forming a new addiction that could even rival my previous addiction to CSI.
Let me introduce you to Castle.
This show is absolutely addictive! I've only seen a couple of episodes but man am I hooked! I am absolutely hooked. The story is all about Richard Castle, a crime novelist, who shadows Detective Kate Becket around for inspiration.
For me, it is the perfect mix of drama and comedy and I go home every night hoping to still catch them on.
Someone Anxious.
Let me introduce you to Castle.
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| Source: http://castletv.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/02.jpg |
For me, it is the perfect mix of drama and comedy and I go home every night hoping to still catch them on.
Someone Anxious.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Growing pains.
I believe that I've come to a point in my life that I see things a little better. I understand more, accept more and thus, I feel a little more than before.
I've had a very hectic weekend. Friday was my passport renewal day (which took most of my afternoon) then I went to a surprise birthday bash for an old friend (who ended up in the Emergency Room due to a ripped ligament). Saturday, I went to a friend's restaurant opening and then went straight to a hospital to help out a high school batchmate who got shot. Sunday was spent fulfilling traditional obligations, having lunch with my grandmother and uncle. Doing the groceries and paying more bills. My Sunday afternoon was spent cooking for a Sunday night family dinner courtesy of my aunt who handed me a kilo of salmon to be made into a salad.
So I was surprised when another old friend called me and started crying. And even though I know that there is no such thing as a big or small problem, I feel like I've outgrown listening to men being boys and love being nothing but rainbows and butterflies. Compared to my high school batchmate who got shot and needed 20 packs of blood or my college blockmate who successfully opened his 2nd restaurant, I think there are just some things that I don't find such a big deal, especially when you reach a certain age.
I'm not saying that I don't care about my friend or that I find her problem to be petty. I know how it feels like and I know that to her, it means the world. In fact, situations like these can make or break a person's life. Things like these shape us to who we will eventually become.
I guess it's just that I think I'm over that phase. My problems consist more of life in general. Career moves, things I really want to do or the life I really want to live And since my problems are so far off from my friend's problems, I feel like I cannot do anything. I cannot give any advice or listen as intently as I did before.
I've changed.
Someone Anxious.
I've had a very hectic weekend. Friday was my passport renewal day (which took most of my afternoon) then I went to a surprise birthday bash for an old friend (who ended up in the Emergency Room due to a ripped ligament). Saturday, I went to a friend's restaurant opening and then went straight to a hospital to help out a high school batchmate who got shot. Sunday was spent fulfilling traditional obligations, having lunch with my grandmother and uncle. Doing the groceries and paying more bills. My Sunday afternoon was spent cooking for a Sunday night family dinner courtesy of my aunt who handed me a kilo of salmon to be made into a salad.
So I was surprised when another old friend called me and started crying. And even though I know that there is no such thing as a big or small problem, I feel like I've outgrown listening to men being boys and love being nothing but rainbows and butterflies. Compared to my high school batchmate who got shot and needed 20 packs of blood or my college blockmate who successfully opened his 2nd restaurant, I think there are just some things that I don't find such a big deal, especially when you reach a certain age.
I'm not saying that I don't care about my friend or that I find her problem to be petty. I know how it feels like and I know that to her, it means the world. In fact, situations like these can make or break a person's life. Things like these shape us to who we will eventually become.
I guess it's just that I think I'm over that phase. My problems consist more of life in general. Career moves, things I really want to do or the life I really want to live And since my problems are so far off from my friend's problems, I feel like I cannot do anything. I cannot give any advice or listen as intently as I did before.
I've changed.
Someone Anxious.
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