Blues, it's been a long time.

I am currently sitting in a cafe where a little girl (about 4 or 5 years old) just approached me and asked me if I paid already. Funny how young they start the kids these days. I am also currently listening to Albert Hammond, Jr. It's been a long time since I listened to In Transit and I'm amazed how the brain can bring back memories of countless hours in the university library.

Time to be frank because I realized that the emotional posts could mean a hundred different things to a hundred different people. I've been thinking of living a life of writing and photography lately. I've been thinking of maybe even going back and getting that master's degree I so badly wanted to pursue after college. In fact, I'm thinking of taking that prestigious offer and try for that oh so far away university. It's just so hard because I'm also thinking of not changing.

Janey, I think we sort of feel the same. Like we want so many things all at the same time and because we there's just so fucking many options, it gets harder to choose. Along the way, we loose the passion for what we really always wanted to do whether it may be music, arts, education or corporate. We lost it somewhere along the way and it's hard ever trying to get it back. Guess what? I think this is what many would call a quarter life crisis and you know what? It sucks.

The thing is, I'm not down because of that. I've been feeling so blue lately because a million other forces (one which is in another side of the world) are pulling me toward a million other paths and it gets tiring being reminded everyday. It gets tiring being reminded that you sort of want it too. It gets tiring being reminded that you may want it more than what you always wanted about now. I'm tired feeling like I am entitled to do it. I hate it. Blood really is thicker than water.

Oh, what to do? What to do?

I hate not knowing what to do.

Someone Anxious.