Empowered-less

Yes, I know that the title is not really a grammatically correct one.

I guess it's weird to write after so long. I've been MIA because a.) work took over and in terms of priority, that's my number one and b.) I've been too tired to really write anything most days.  I guess, I'll take this short lunch break to let everyone know out there that I'm still alive but (just like the song) I'm barely breathing.

The funny thing about how I feel is that people always make you feel your empowered then your not. Work makes me feel that way most of the time and so does my family. I always feel like the only real choice I do make is which channel do I watch late at night when I can't sleep.

When I was growing up, I always envied adults because they make their own decisions. I thought, by this time, I've proven myself capable of deciding what I can and cannot do. But then again, I thought by this time I would be married to George Clooney or Prince Harry so I guess my judgement depreciates as seconds tick by.

The funny thing about this "growing up" is that it's totally different from "getting old". I've heard it many times over that wisdom does not necessarily come with age. But the thing is, how wise you are may not necessarily be an advantage when people can't see pass beyond your age. Yet again, I am a walking example that people will always judge the book by its cover.

I'd love to be empowered someday. To be trusted with the opportunity to talk the way I should deem to talk or walk the way I believe how to walk. Lastly, I would love to be trusted with the opportunity to be trusted. I guess it will never come easy so I should be content with simply being,

Someone Anxious.