4 Cities in 1 Night.

BECAUSE WE CAN, WE DO.

Last Saturday was another great adventure. I met up with Janey to watch rugby and go to Holly's niece's birthday party. On the ride to the party, Janey shared this great idea of going to four cities in one night and just hanging out with each other while having a drink in each. We were all tasked to choose one city each and complete a dare in the chosen city.

 

Right after the party, we immediately drove off to the first city where Holly met up with Chen. She splendidly accomplished her dare which was saying hi to a random stranger and pretending to know that person.

For the next city, which was mine, I had to introduce myself to a stranger as a complete imposter. I thought it would be easy. Guess not. Completely chickened out although I was still able to do the dare (technically). I introduced myself as someone else to this server/waiter who I asked directions too. Of course, everyone thought I was chicken for asking for directions.

By the third city, which was Janey's, we decided to go to this pub Holly knew. They served foreign made draft beer for reasonable prizes and I had a blast getting a bit tipsy. I did realize that beer was no longer my preferred poison. I think I'm beginning to develop a taste for hard drinks. Janey dared herself to say hi to as many people as possible and she ended up saying hi to an old friend from the university.

The last city was Jackie's and by that time, we were all a bit too tired. Had beer and breakfast at this point and just talked about random things. I almost left my debit card at the restaurant and had to run back in panic to get it. Then Janey took us home, me being the first one to be dropped off.

To more awesome Saturdays,

Someone Anxious.

Reminding you of what you are certain.

I once wrote about surprises and how positive ones are the few good things in this world that makes me absolutely happy. Got another work related surprise this week and now I am sitting in a very  comfortable chair inside an amazing (and functional) room up in the mountains.

This trip came about the right time for me. I was beginning to feel a lot of doubt and uncertainty with what I really want to do. Holly, I know you are so sick and tired of hearing this from me (especially when you hear it from your family too but now you have to read it). For that, I'm sorry but there really are moments when I'm not sure of things. Yes, I know. That's life and you are never really sure about these things.

This place is amazing and would be one of the places I must go back to (if they allow it) for pleasure. I honestly wish to own this place and just live in this room, with this view.

And this one.

Cheers!
Someone Anxious.

Merry (But Thoughtful) Mondays and Try Something New Tuesdays.

Last Monday, I met up with Holly at the university. She's been dying to eat Chinese and it was a great opportunity to eat again at the nearby Chinese restaurant from our favorite entrepreneur. We had a very satisfying dinner (although they still don't serve duck at that resto) and had iced teas after.

While sipping on our cold teas and eating sansrival with plastic forks, we talked about how are families never really ask you how you are. It's true, isn't it? Family members never truly ask you how they are (I think I blogged about this already). Every time I hang out with my sister and she asks me how I am, I'm never really compelled to tell her about everything or even anything. She asks "How are you?" and I answer I'm okay simply because that's expected of me. I'm supposed to answer "I'm okay" even if my heart is breaking inside and I want to rant about that man that I just want to throw off a hill. Same is true for my uncle, my grandmother and even my dad who I live with and have contact with on a daily basis.

The good thing is that Holly did make a point... Friends really ask us how they are. Real friends know when you are down on the dumps or hungry to fall in love. They may judge you but they also tell you the truth. Now that one good thought because I know when I'm no longer with my blood and I'm on my own, there are at least a couple of people out there that I can be truly open to.

KIKUFUJI! The best!

Then yesterday, The Certified Olympian showed me one of the best Japanese restaurants I've ever been to. I've never tasted sea food that good and I can honestly say that I've been craving to go back. Fresh tuna, salmon and gindara! It's been a long time since I've had good gindara (the last time being in Kimpura and I can't really afford that without my family). Restaurants like these make me want to live in the city. I can't wait to get my own place and eat out then try to replicate what I eat when I have people over. Hopefully, this year I'll be able to!

First serving!

Can't wait for more Mondays and Tuesdays in the future!

Cleansing Trip.

So, the only person who really knew about this trip was actually Holly. Janey and Jackie, I'm sorry if I didn't tell you guys but as Holly said, this is something too personal to share, even the planning and the reasons why.

Last weekend, I took a trip to his hometown so that I can finally cleanse myself of the idea of him. I know this seems crazy and such a weird way to get over someone but it worked and so far, I feel like I've done the right thing. I told everyone who asked about it that I was there to take photos of churches.

Let me explain why I thought, and still think, it was a good idea. Here's why and some of the things that happened to me:

I can't be constraint forever. Did you guys ever get that feeling that you can't go to a certain place simply because of him. You can't pass by this road because you're sure he's there or you can't go to this restaurant because you know he's there. Well, I've had enough of that feeling and I decided to go straight to the heart of the matter. I told everyone I was there for a lomo trip but truth is, I went because I just had to stop associating the place to him. I did have a pleasant trip. I rode the bus going to a neighboring town and although I did not understand what most people said during my jeepney ride going to my destination, I did meet a few people along the way. A mom and her son played as my tour guide. They went with me to the first church and even hired a tricycle driver to drive me to my next destination.

I had a lot of things to think about. I haven't been to church for awhile. I've stopped believing in organized religion ever since my experience with "All the Evil" happened. The last time I willingly went to a Church was for graduation and it wasn't really helpful experience either. Still, I church hopped around town to photograph some of the best facades I've ever seen. By the time I went to the second church, there was a wedding going on and I couldn't help but wait for the bride to walk down the aisle. It was refreshing to see someone so happy that day and for the first time in a long while, I was honestly happy for someone finding love. I wasn't bitter and I wasn't wishing for myself. As I was lighting a candle in the third church I went to, I couldn't help but think about sincerity and how sincere I am to a lot of people, even for him. I've come to accept that I fucked it all up and it was accepting that fact that I had to do. Guess what? I've finally accepted it by the way. :)

I had to kill the hope of a happily ever after. It's almost like in 500 days of summer when Tom went to Summer's party and he had all these thoughts of what should happen. I admit. The part of me who wanted to go there was hoping for that happily ever after moment. I think I finally moved on and I now know that the world does not do happily ever after. It rarely does. The world gives you real situations and by going there and not seeing him made me swallow the death of an expectation. Cheers to that!

By the time I got back to the city, he asked me if we could meet. We had coffee and as he talked about what's been happening to him and how he's sorry he had to cancel last Friday for her. As I told Holly, for the first time in awhile, I did not feel like killing him nor did I even feel remotely annoyed at him. By cleansing myself of him I was also able to cleanse myself of what it could be like if he wasn't like this or if he wasn't like that. The funny thing is, he did sort of propose and if he did this a few months back, I would have risked it all and said yes. The thing is, during the trip, I prayed to become stronger and less naive. I think God granted my wish because I stood my ground as I broke his heart and told him that it really isn't him that I want to be with. There was just that feeling that really made me say no and as people wiser than me always told me: when in doubt, never.

Moving forward,
Someone Anxious.

P.S. I'm never going to go for a Brazilian again!

I'm all set.

This will be short.

Tomorrow I'm going for a trip. It's a cleansing thing of sorts at the same time, I'll be able to take photos for both zramphotography and diskcover.

Wish me luck!

Someone Anxious.

Workout anyone?

I've been dying to try the TRX class they offer at the gym. Last night, the Certified Olympian and another office mate of ours decided to finally take the class and was it a surprise!

source: http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/images/stories/large/2009/01/18/TRX.jpg

I have never felt like this in a long why. You know what I mean... that feeling bordering between crap and a good pack on the back. I could barely lift myself and even after the first round of exercises, I felt like hell. I realized I don't have balance and that I really did gain weight. Big moment of truth for me. I'm getting bigger and it's time to stop that and get healthier.

That's why I'm going back on Monday.

Despite that aching feeling in my stomach, thighs, shoulders and ankles, I'm still going simply because I loved it. For the first time in a long while, I feel a little bit lighter and a little more confident. Yes, I suck at  Zumba (which we did before the TRX class) but I still managed to sweat the whole class. Yes, I look stupid at TRX for not being able to even lift myself but I've never felt greater in my whole life.

I usually try to avoid things that I'm not good at because I feel like when I am not able to excel at something, then it's not worth giving a try. Last night, I realized that I can excel at things I was never inherently good at... I just need to give it my best shot and practice a little bit more.

See you on Monday, TRX!

Someone Anxious.

Proud (Diskcover is up and running!)

My "public" blog, Diskcover, is up and running. Finally posted what I have (which are just blurry images by the way) and I can't wait for the traffic to flood in. I'm a bit sad because almost two rolls of film were completely blank. Still, I'm thinking of just practicing, taking more photos and trying to be more careful when I roll the film back.

I'm still excited because I  got my old digicam back and I'm hoping to also update Zramphotography. 

Hope you guys take a look at Diskcover. You don't have to follow it... I just wanted to share it with all of you! :)

-Someone Anxious.

Surprises.

Two days into the year and so far, my horoscope got it right. Yesterday, the first day of the year, I received a very nice surprise from someone unexpected proving to me again that life is indeed unpredictable. I'm so happy to know that the universe constantly reminds me of certain people we should never forget about... even if they are no longer with us.

Warning: Highly Nostalgic Post.
If my math is right, it's been five years since All the Evil started and I feel like things are finally okay. I am at peace with the world and I've come to accept that life as I knew it was never meant to last. I've waved the Camelot dream goodbye and even though I now try to make my own dreams a reality, I will never ever forget about him King Arthur and how he taught me to live. I'll miss our coffee sessions, our banter and our lambingan. I'll always miss those afternoon phone calls checking up on me and asking how school was. I no longer look back at such memories in a negative light. These memories are now positive reminders - reminding me of what I want my own Camelot to look like.

The man I want to be with? The man that highly reminds me of him because I know no better man than him.

Someone Anxious.