You Only Live Once (aka The Countdown Begins)

Three days until "Vday" and I'm quite excited.

You see, I have this matchmaking friend who hinted something to this guy I liked about going out with me on a friendly date on Valentine's. The thing is, I really don't think he'll push through so we made a wager. If he decides to contact me and invite me on Monday, my friend wins. If not, I win. The deadline: Sunday night. So far, I honestly think it won't push through.

I'm not anti-Valentine's or anything. As a matter of fact, I support it (amidst all the chaos, everybody needs a little love). Still, I'm no longer a child and I'm not really expecting anything. Truth be told, I'm not really a believer of the whole "love is all about rainbows and butterflies." I know real relationships need more than just affection. Real relationships are all about trust and commitment. Something I feel I'm ready for but the world seems to think so otherwise. Despite so, I continue with my journey because I know, deep in (what's left of) my heart, he is out there and he is thinking of me.


As I've told my friend, the fool: "There will always be someone else. Don't loose hope on finding someone who can top the last one because that person your searching for is probably searching too. If you stop searching for 'him' then there will come a point he will get tired and stop searching for you too. Maybe the secret is not getting over someone. Maybe it's all about accepting how much you care about someone..."

I may not be over him totally. A part of me still long for him and still think of the "what ifs..." A part of me still cry at night and some parts of me tell me I can still forgive him.

But I know my journey is not about him. My journey is about... well... me.

Still writing,

Someone Anxious.