Dear friend,

For a moment I couldn't help it. I suddenly checked his profile and here it is again. That feeling of hurt that moves you to tears late at night when you're all alone in bed wishing things were different. Will it always be like this? I know I've been telling people that I want to take the high road... that I don't want to wish him ill will despite what he did. But the truth is, I still care and I think for some time, I still will.

Is it so wrong to care? Honestly? Am I being to saintly about this? I'm not saying I should be a martyr of sorts but it's just so goddamn hard to not care about somebody you obviously do. I'm not defending him and what he did. I'm not saying that such actions are acceptable or that it should always be forgiven. It's just that... despite what he did, I care.

I'm not saying that I'm stupid enough to want to be with him or meet up yet again. I'm also not saying that I'm crazy enough to just focus on him and let my world revolve around him. What I'm actually saying is that I'm over it. I wish him well despite what he did and I know I dug my own grave. Let's just say, we're even.

I guess in a way, my journey starts here. I have accepted the fact that it's time to move on and now, I am moving on. Let's not wallow in misery, anger and hurt. Let's not think about the pain and how much it hurts to find out that genuine concern and trust were repaid by the superficiality of  the ego.

I have learned my lesson.

Until then dear friend,
Someone Anxious.