We don't have forever
Baby daylight's wasting
You better kiss me
Before our time is run out
Nobody sees what we see
They're just hopelessly gazing
Baby take me
Before they turn the lights out
It's been a while since I've blogged about more personal endeavors. Although I've been pouring all my efforts in my food blog, there are things that I feel like I should share in this semi-private hole in the internet.
I've been thinking about moving lately.
Like physically moving, changing locations and leaving everything behind.
Since I've accepted that I won't be up for the "prestigious" scholarship (thank you very much, people who care), I've been thinking about just following my dream and moving to a totally different place. My mom has been sharing how they're planning to buy a home in the suburbs and I'm thinking that maybe in a year's time, I can comfortably follow.
There's just so many uncomfortable things running around here.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this from time to time. But honestly, I want to clear my head and I know for a fact that I can't clear it here. I feel like despite the smiles, I'm slowly burning myself out. I'm tired of trying to make an effort of having a good time or feeling like my old self when those things SHOULD come naturally to everyone.
People say it's because I'm growing up. I like to think that it's only because I'm growing old. When people say age is just a number and you know for a fact that it isn't, I think that's a sign. I'm scared because I'm starting to forget. I'm forgetting not just the actual number, but what should be experienced with it. I worry about too many things that doesn't matter. I start paying to take those long walks I know I could have for free. Then I start making a big deal out of it because I know it should be free. It's a cycle and I know for a fact that I don't want to be part of it.
I've come to realize that it is not in the process of losing everything, but rather, in the process of gaining everything that we loose who we are as individuals.
I guess, I just want to be preventive rather than reactive. I've learned to take multivitamins for my body. Maybe, I should earn courage for my soul.
Working on to be,
Someone Anxious.
