Things you can't take back.

Sometimes, I think about moments in my life I wish I could take back. I often act before thinking my actions through and in the end I just make a fool out of myself.

Sometimes, I wish I could take back what I said to an old flame or to an enemy. Sometimes, I wish I could take back moments spent thinking about you or "what ifs" and all that jazz. Sometimes, I wish I could take back falling in love and all the pain and humiliation it caused me.

Then I realize...

...these are the things that I can never ever take back.

I can never take back the moment I told him that it was indeed possible. I can never take back the hours spent day dreaming about us and how it would be like. I can never take back that moment in my life where I engraved it in stone and said I liked you or the countless nights I spent thinking about how much it hurts.

Things you can't take back are the most painful ones because it constantly reminds us of how much it hurts.

The end of the kid.

I was never rejected but in a way I guess I was so. This is the most confusing part of it. I was into him for so long and today I found out that he will never be into me. Somehow, I feel like I was slapped on the face. The things is, the embarrassment is there and I feel as if I just want the world to swallow me whole.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really meant to be single. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that my search for love is futile.

Times like these make me want to give up on everything and everyone.

Someone Anxious.

Stories of the kid.

Sometimes I don't want to hear about it. I really don't. As a matter of fact, I really don't feel inclined to hang around when he's there. I guess people don't really understand and sometimes I don't too. It's so hard because my friends' lives are closely stitched to his and I feel like I can't have one without the other.

Honestly, I don't want to talk about him because I'm jealous of the time you get to spend with him. I'm jealous of the fact that you guys have more laughs and you guys have more fun. I'm so jealous even if I know there's nothing between the two of you. I'm jealous because I wanted to be a part of his life and I never will be like you are to him now.

Now, more than ever...

Someone Anxious.